Archives for : SELF ESTEEM

An open letter to men from a difficult woman-Her story

Firstly, many of you are lovely. And I thank those of you who leave supportive comments on my Facebook page, or who engage in respectful and thoughtful debate. I very much enjoy interacting with you all. Please keep hanging around. Maybe you can share my site with your followers & others on facebook.?

But to the rest of you contemplating writing to me, I have a few simple guidelines. If your message falls into one of the below categories, please refrain from pressing send:

Personal attacks

It is fine to disagree with my point of view. My kids do it all the time! But if you wish to voice your disagreement, you will need to use words that convey your thesis in a logical methodical manner, and provide compelling supporting arguments.

Words such as “Your article contains factual errors A, B, and C,” or “You stated X but I can demonstrate with Y and Z that X is invalid,” do exactly that.

Writer Kerri Sackville.

Photo: Nic Walker


To mansplain is to comment on or explain something to a woman in a condescending way. It is predicated on the belief that a man knows more than a woman, even about her own lived experience.

If you are a genuine expert on a topic about which I have written (and, if I am writing about women’s lived experience, being an expert includes ‘being a woman’), please feel free to comment. If not, refrain.

Speculation about my credibility

“No-one is interested.”

This is factually incorrect. Clearly you are interested, or you wouldn’t have read the article and taken the time to respond.

“Who the f–k cares what you think?”

Well, clearly you do. I know this because you are writing to me.

“Are you even a real journo?”

Well, the people responsible for the content of this publication (the “editors”) have paid me to write, so technically, yes, I am a real journo.

“Women do bad things too!”

Sometimes I write about certain poor behaviors exhibited by men. This does not mean I believe that women are perfect, or that women don’t do bad things too. It just means that I am writing about certain poor behaviors exhibited by men. If you want to write your own article about women’s bad behaviors, please do. Just do not send it to me. It’s irrelevant to my article.


Just because I write about certain poor behaviors exhibited by men, doesn’t mean I believe that all men exhibit these poor behaviors. You do not need to inform me. #Notallmen, I know.


Some of my articles run alongside a nice photo of me. I could have chosen a photo in which I look terrible (for example, one taken first thing in the morning, or whilst wearing a mud mask) but I prefer a pleasant photo.

Having said that, I do not need you to tell me how ‘sexy’ or ‘hot’ or ‘f—able’ I am in that pleasant photo. I am aware that it is a pleasant photo. Furthermore, I am a writer. I am trying to engage people with my words. When you flatter my appearance, you demean my work. Perhaps that is your intention. See point number 1.


When I was married I wrote about marriage. When I was anxious I wrote about anxiety. Now that I am single and dating, I write about being single and dating.

This does not mean that I accept propositions from random strangers on the internet. And if I did accept propositions from random strangers on the internet, they would have to be a hell of a lot better than,

“Hey I think you’re really hot so you should date me.”

Threats of violence

Most go straight to trash. The rest go to the police.

Thanking you in advance for your consideration.

With very best wishes,

Kerri (Nutty Left Feminist and Difficult Woman)

Kerri Sackville is appearing on a panel about ‘Difficult Women’ at Melbourne Jewish Book Week on Monday 7 May.

Just love your style Kerri. I love mentally strong, intelligent beautiful women.

This site is devoted to women like you.Keep up the great work Kerri Sackville

Henry Sapiecha


This girl thing breast size issue can be viewed in these videos if you feel you want firmer larger breasts.

The natural way without surgery & expensive implants. These foods & exercises are cheap & easy for you to do at home. So enjoy the journey into the new breast world.

1…DIY Creams for saggy breasts video

2…Some good video advice on getting naturally larger breasts

3…Breast massage techniques video for larger, firmer & healthier breasts

4…Increase Breast Size – Natural DIY Cod liver oil & fennel seeds formula to apply


6…Larger boobs how to dress them up to look huge in this video

7…How to have instant larger breast in less than a minute shown in this video

8…How to make your chest look bigger with the smart enhancing use of makeup

9…Instant breast lift by posture adjustment shows how to in this you tube video

10…Breast exercises – 5 SIMPLE EXERCISES to firm, lift, and shape your breasts


Henry Sapiecha



From exotic travel locations to risky sports to having babies, there's an awful lot you're expected to do in the last year of your 20s image

From exotic travel locations to risky sports to having babies, there’s an awful lot you’re expected to do in the last year of your 20s.” Photo: Stocksy

If you’re on the cusp of your fourth decade on this earth, chances are you’re up to the eyeballs in opinions about what you simply must do by the time you turn 30. From exotic travel locations to risky sports to having babies (yes, this week,we’re back in the good old bad old days where babies need to be popped out, pronto), there’s an awful lot you’re expected to do in the last year of your 20s.

Take this list of “30 Experiences You Should Have Before You Turn 30”: evidently your average aspiring 30-year-old needs to run a half-marathon, go skinny dipping, take an improv class (?), test drive their dream car (??), and learn to bartend (???) – among other things – before the clock strikes [whatever time you were born] on the final day of your 29th year.

(I was under the impression that an improv class was less an “experience” than an endurance test, but to each their own.) (6)

Yes, from financial decisions to wardrobe items to music festivals to essential smallgoods to eat, there’s an unending well of “before you turn 30”-related content out there; enough to cause an existential crisis in even the most well-lived 29-year-old.

So, as a person quickly approaching the eve of my third-annual 30th birthday crisis talks, I’d like to offer a different slant on the ticking time bomb: here are six things you should forget about once you turn 30.

Talking Shit About People

Yes, there’s a certain bonding quality in getting together and ragging on what such-and-such wore to the work Christmas In July party (etc). But once you get a bit of distance, you may come to realise there’s nothing more tragic than a group of professional adults whipping each other into a frenzy of bitchiness (trust me, just spend a day on Twitter). That’s not to say you need to become saintlike in your day-to-day interactions, but just take a step back and take stock of how much of your time and energy is taken up by whining or griping: chances are you’ll be surprised.

Worrying About Solo Travel

The truth about group travel, as anyone who has ever travelled with friends or a partner will tell you, is frequent arguments, an irritating commitment to itineraries and inevitable griping about where to have dinner. Solo travel, for all its occasional moments of crushing loneliness (shout out to sobbing in New York doorways or on the Tube), is just really not that scary. I realise this is drifting perilously close to “you must try solo travel once you turn 30” territory but, really, trust me: it’s the best.

Going Bungee Jumping

“Go bungee jumping” is such a naff, late-’90s tourism campaign idea of letting loose and letting go of your inhibitions (see also: skinny dipping, parasailing, certain brands of backpacking) before adulthood comes knocking. Do you think Marianne Faithfull’s Ballad Of Lucy Jordan would have been so poignant if the eponymous 37-year-old was mourning the fact she’d never jump off a bridge into a river rather than driving through Paris with the warm wind in her hair? Plus, I mean, why stop there: take up stunt driving or BASE jumping or build a rocket. In your 30s, it’s time to reassess your commitment to your extreme lifestyle.

Whether Or Not Your Bum Looks Big In That

I vividly remember waking up on the day of my 30th birthday: after decades of fretting about whether or not my body looked “right”, I looked in the mirror at my stretch marks, grey hairs and the fact my arse was slowly disappearing into my thighs, and I thought, “Not bad”. Don’t worry about turning into a “YOU GO GIRL!!” model of body positivity, because it’s perfectly reasonable to also think you look like an old sock filled with corks on any given day, but rather try to treat yourself with kindness and respect. Your body has made it through at least 30 years, and it deserves a hug.

Dating “Bad Guys”

By “bad guy”, I don’t mean the dude from your drama class who wore a leather jacket, smoked and once combed his hair with water from the toilet bowl. No, I mean guys (and gals) who are emotionally withholding, manipulative, sulky, mean or stingy, or all of the above if you’ve picked a real winner. It’s time, in your 30s, to realise you are worth more than the crumbs of love that some gadabout scrapes off the table in your general direction. Stop that!

Trying To Work Out What You’ll Be When You Grow Up

If you went through school in the ’90s, it’s likely you were being pushed to have an idea of your career trajectory as early as Year 9, when you had to start thinking about your Year 11 and 12 subjects. This can lead to spending your 20s gripped by a crushing state of work-related existential agony if you’ve not “made it” to where 15-year-old you thought you’d be “by now”. But really, 15-year-old you also thought Dougie the pizza guy was hot, what the hell did they know? Take a break from being your own worst guidance counsellor. It’s okay to just let your career unfold. (5)

Henry Sapiecha