man shame with woman image

So he’s a cheater… but is he a heartbreaker or destiny maker?

I met you on my travels. You were rugged, tanned, had a sexy accent and amazing shoulders. Did I tell you that? I’m a sucker for strong shoulders. When you spilled your dreams on deserted Thai beaches and talked about your family in sidewalk Saigon cafes, I felt the world melt away – like all my solo travels had been worth it because they’d led me to you. We saw corners of the world that were extra special, thanks to experiencing them together… But fast forward a few more months and you were with someone else. Gone.

What went wrong?

I followed you. I gave in to my heart and I followed you home, albeit three months later. It was fine, I said, I have no home right now. I can go anywhere. But what I meant was that I’d go anywhere for you… What I didn’t realise was that while I was a free spirit, your freedom had an end date. While I saw eternity in your eyes, you saw fun in the mad, mad moment. Blinded by lust I ignored the signs and chased you.

Time to move on

When I reached you, you had already moved on. I met the girl: tall, blonde, beautiful and envious of our time together (but oblivious to the promises I’d seen in your eyes when you looked at me). In your mind you didn’t even cheat, but it felt like I’d been cheated by my own frickin’ destiny. Enough, I thought. I will not let one man determine my emotions. Instead of moping around alone in a foreign place I joined internet dating sites and social groups. And my entire life changed.

I was twice the woman I was when I met you

After just a few weeks I had more appointments in my diary than I’d ever had before. It turned out you’d done me a favour by hauling me off the open road and into a small American town. Instead of a small fish in an endless ocean, I was the biggest, most exciting thing in the pond. I dated a host of interesting men, was entertained while playing the entertainer and saw so much of the incredible country you’d talked about on our travels, with my own eyes.

I fell in love again

I followed my heart and it led me to you. And you in turn, sent my heart elsewhere. While you were home with your new girlfriend, I was living a brand new dream and before too long, I’d fallen in love again myself. Not just with a smooth, sexy new guy, either. I’d fallen in love with the sound of an inspired stream of questions about the lifestyle I’d grown quite tired of. As I responded to incredulous looks and laughter over escapades like enduring bumpy jeep rides in Bolivia, running away from amorous tour guides in the Amazon and drinking toxic tree sap with a Peruvian hippy tribe, I saw all over again that even if they didn’t always go to plan, my adventures were shaping me into an interesting person; one that I was actually quite proud of.

I fell in love with a brand new sense of stability; an independence I’d forgotten I had, the knowledge that actually, I didn’t even need a man to feel completely brilliant, on my own. So I’m glad you cheated. And I’m glad I had the chance to see that destiny didn’t cheat me after all. It just sent me to exactly where I was supposed to be.

Henry Sapiecha

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